When I eat these foods, I bloat up like I’m living in a bologna skin.
I just pulled a fresh sourdough loaf out of the oven. (above) The house is warm and smells earthy and grainy. When it’s quiet, I hear the crust crackle as it cools on the counter. In one hour I will cut two warm slices, slather them with Dijon mustard, layer thick slabs of smoked ham topped with soft brie, bring both ends together, and take a satisfying bite. Right then, I’m happy. In one hour I will be so bloated and grouchy, I will regret every bite.
In the saddest of ironies, when I was creating my bread business, I got more and more sensitive to gluten, the protein that’s found in bread. I used to love bread. Well, I still do, I just can’t eat it because I bloat up, leaving me feeling like I’m wrapped in a bologna skin. It’s not just the bloating; it affected my mood, making me irritable and turning me into an ogre, snapping at my daughters when they asked, “Daddy, can you pick me up from dance please?” It got so bad, they’d say, “Daddy, you sure you want to eat that. You’re going to get bloated and turn into a monster.”
Even more sad, it’s not just the gluten in the bread that affects me; I’m sensitive to at least 26 foods, including rice, eggs, and turkey. (Thank God I can still eat lamb) I love most of the foods I am sensitive too, and most are healthy, but If I eat them I look and feel terrible, and that affects my motivation and happiness. It’s hard enough some days to quiet my childhood trauma and stay positive, if I eat a turkey sandwich, it’s nearly impossible to be happy, something most of my readers tell me is a choice. (I don’t disagree with them).
How do I know I’m sensitive to these foods? I took a simple blood test at my doctors office. You can also ask your health professional for a food sensitivity test. This is the company I used. I did the 96 Comprehensive Food Panel, IgG, IgA test.
I didn’t know it, but in addition to food sensitivities making me bloated and irritable, they also magnified my negative thoughts, something I inherited from my dysfunctional childhood. I made that connection through therapy, a program, and writing a memoir.
Also, over the years I’ve realized many of my health coaching clients had food sensitivities that made it hard for them to stick with a healthy eating and exercise plan. I’m glad that we became aware of this because I could remind them there was nothing wrong with them, they just had to limit or avoid certain foods. But when they couldn’t, I observed many of them who struggled with eating healthier and exercising, also suffered some type of childhood trauma or abandonment as well. It is understood, there is a relationship between food addiction and childhood dysfunction. It became evident to me, for those clients to be healthier, they had to address their childhood. There is a reason why 95% of diets fail us. It’s not because we are weak.
Though many people overeat to feel better, ironically, I did the opposite; my childhood trauma manifested in me having to appear perfect in order to be accepted. So, I’ve eaten “healthy” since the day I quit my football scholarship, 31 years ago, one of the worst days of my life. I didn’t want to look and feel terrible for the rest of my life, and I wanted people to like me; I thought if I was fit, they would. I write about it in my upcoming memoir. Here’s an excerpt.
Often, food sensitivities combined with childhood trauma stop us from eating well and taking care of ourselves, like we want to. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Perfect Peter (And Why I Hated Him)
Excerpt from: Chapter 23 “Stop Eating So Much, You’re Getting Fat”
It’s 1977, Ruffles chips and sour cream dip are popular, and I’m seven years old. My older brother comes into our apartment’s small living room where I’m watching TV, and says, “Daddy’s outside and wants to talk to you.” I’m nervous, my father never wants to talk to me, unless I’m in trouble. He hasn’t lived with us since I can remember, and even though we see him Sundays, he’s a stranger to me. My heart pounds as we walk out to my father’s Blue Chevy work van. He’s sitting in the drivers seat as we open the passenger side door. He leans over, looks at my seven year old belly, and says, “Stop eating so much, your getting fat.” “Okay,” I say, obediently.
When I was 6, I dropped a watermelon by mistake, and after my father beat me and made me sleep in our basement because, he said, “I don’t want to see your face,” I never speak back to him. That was one of the many reasons I feared him. There would be worse reasons to come. I learned if I stayed quiet, appeared perfect, and didn’t get fat, my father would leave me alone. I think what he said, resulting in a need to appear perfect (not fat), along with the pull toward a natural life I’ve always felt, is why I have maintained my weight, except for gaining 60 pounds in one year playing college football. During my first year on the Football team at Rutgers, my typical lunch was two cheeseburgers, two hot dogs, french fries. onion rings, and several soda refills. There’s no mystery how I gained the weight, and hunger and football weren’t the only reasons I stuffed my face. I was depressed, and food made me feel better, temporarily.
When I quit my scholarship, I vowed to lose the weight. Even though my father died tragically when I was 16, I still felt compelled to maintain a perfect persona, combined with my desire to look and feel better. Ironically, as good as I portrayed myself to be on the outside, I felt equally as bad on the inside. I learned, when a child is raised in a dysfunctional, abusive, addicted home, they learn low self worth. That can manifest in several ways. For me, it was having to appear perfect in order to be accepted. That was a mistake, but I had no way of knowing it then. It would take 48 years before I understood why I hated myself, and how to change that…
Eating healthy and exercising while I was depressed saved my life. That’s why I want to connect with others who are struggling with their health. If you have “tried everything,” and cannot lose weight or be healthier, you may have food sensitivities, or childhood trauma, or both. You’re not weak, or lack willpower, and you’re not alone. I respectfully say to you, please ask for help; find a good therapist, get a blood test, work with a health coach, and attend a 12 step program if appropriate. There is always hope.
You’re friend
Peter
P.S. please leave a comment below, or on social media, or email me privately.
P.P.S If it’s right for you, I’d like to invite you to attend my Free Food & Fitness Demo, in person or virtually. Just RSVP below, and I hope to see you there.
I hope you can attend. I’ll share 5 minute plans and you’ll have a chance to sign up for my 12 week program, YOUR HEALTHIEST LIFE.
Where- Davis Integrated Medicine
316 Orange Rd
Montclair, NJ 07042
Or Online RSVP and I’ll send you info on how to attend virtually.
P.S. I’ll share how Carlos lost 60 pounds, and Gale lost 41 pounds. But more importantly, how we can work together to look and feel our best. We don’t have to do it alone, and if you think you’ve tried everything, you haven’t, my friend :-)
Want more info?- https://www.peterkofitsas.com/services/your-healthiest-life
I’m looking forward to you joining us!
