When my sister, Dimitra, and her partner Donna told me they think happiness is a choice, it irritated me. I love them and respect their opinions, but accepting what they believed was not simple for me.

I’m finishing a memoir about my childhood, how it affected me, specifically my happiness. If I believed what my sister and Donna shared, that would mean for 48 years I have chosen to be unhappy. That didn’t make sense to me.

Last week I was with a friend and she asked , “Are you happy?”

“That’s a complicated question,” I said. But should it be?

That made me think. What does happiness mean? How often do you have to feel happiness to be considered happy. What does it feel like to be happy?

As I finish my memoir, I am exploring whether happiness is simply a choice, or is there more to it?

I started with Dan Buettner’s work with the Blue Zones. I’ve admired his work studying the longest lived and happiest people on the planet. I thought, why not learn from people who don’t try to be happy, they just are. I’m skeptical about forcing happiness with mantras and artificial exercises. I tried that for years = no happier.

What do you think? Is happiness a choice? Is it as simple as that? Or does it have to do with how you were raised, how your parents treated you?

What do you think?

Your friend,

Peter